tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC December 18, 2014 12:36am-1:38am EST
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- bill o'reilly -- actress krysten ritter -- music from jungle -- featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everyone! i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great, that is excellent news.
how we doing in our christmas shopping? how are we doing on that? [ cheers ] right? today's the day -- today's the day where you realize, you're just not going to get it done. [ light laughter ] everyone -- you know what everyone's getting for christmas this year from me? a hastily made gift certificate that says i owe you something i forgot to get, when there was enough time to get it. maybe i'll put it in a big old box to mislead you. ah! [ laughter ] this is interesting, everyone. a new poll about the 2016 election shows that just 27% of voters would be likely to support chris christie. and only 4% of chairs. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] little political news. after closing their final
session, the outgoing 113th congress has an approval rating of just 16%. 16%. to give you some perspective, cosby is at 17. [ laughter and applause ] i was excited by this news. san francisco, boston, los angeles and washington, d.c., have all offered to host the 2024 summer olympics. of course, by 2024, all olympics will be summer olympics. [ light laughter ] the luge is just going to be a waterslide. here's some science news. this week a nasa rover -- not nausa, just anybody calls it nausa, on behalf of me you just tell them right away, that's not how you say it. [ light laughter ]
that was a test. "i call it nausa." [ light laughter ] in outer spauce. [ laughter ] i support nausa in outer spauce. [ cheers and applause ] a nasa rover named curiosity found methane gas on mars. which may finally prove once and for all that mars was once home to a chipotle. [ laughter ] just imagine. just imagine. this is great. residents in southern california have complained about a medical marijuana dispensary christmas display which features a pot-smoking santa claus. i mean, come on. this is christ's birthday. that should be a pot-smoking jesus. guys. [ cheers and applause ]
have a little respect for the season. i like this. this week harry potter offered j.k. rowling stated for the first time that there was a jewish wizard attending hogwarts. you can tell he's jewish because his wand is missing the tip. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] [ cheers and applause ] hey, that's your hanukkah joke of the day, enjoy it. [ laughter ] day two! we try a joke like that on day one of hanukkah, no. a little offensive. day two, anything goes. [ laughter ] this is cool. nbc has announced that starting today, viewers can stream shows live online as they're aired on tv. so if you are watching this online right now, i just want to say that --
[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] check it out. thank you. this -- this is just amazing. monday, a nebraska man was pulled over for driving a car with four flat tires, and a deployed air bag, with a blood alcohol content of over three times the legal limit. he's being charged with everything. all things. this is exciting. today a trailer was released for a new documentary about the backstreet boys. unfortunately, it was the one they were living in. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
and finally, finally, a salvation army bell ringer, a salvation army bell ringer in virginia was injured when an 87-year-old man accidently ran him over. he was taken to the hospital. once the applause died down. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how we doing, 8g band? everybody good? everybody excited for christmas? excited for the holiday season? that's great. fred, it's so lovely to see you. it's great to see you every night. mostly because every night i see you, you weren't here last night, you were off doing one of your amazing adventures. every night i see you, despite the fact that i've known you as long as i've known you, i learn something new about you. it's such amazing things, that sometimes i worry.
my worry is that people think you might making up the answers to my questions off the top of your head. and, you know, i -- [ laughter ] but i know, being friends, like i know you wouldn't do that. you wouldn't just make something up off the top of your head. but i heard some people earlier today talking about christmas traditions and talking about leaving out milk and cookies for santa. and i heard you leave out something different. you have a different tradition. >> fred: yeah. rolls of insulating material. [ laughter ] you know those giant rolls of insulating material? >> seth: giant pink insulation. >> fred: yes, yes. >> seth: do you leave that out for santa? >> fred: i do. it's just an old tradition. we don't know where it comes from. [ laughter ] our family are danish-belgian, and -- along all along the decades and centuries, that's just what we've done. >> seth: got you. so do you think it's a combination of like -- maybe a danish tradition and half a
belgian tradition? that somehow that way those two combine is leaving a giant roll of insulation. >> fred: that's what i think. i mean, in the early days, it was hay spray painted pink. you know what i mean, and then we just took it from there. we just keep it in the rolls. and then it does stay there. santa never seems to take it. but that's the tradition. santa is like, "no, you know, like i'm good for right now." but that's the fun of it. >> seth: when you were a kid, would you run downstairs, were you excited to see whether or not he took it? >> fred: oh, yes. [ laughter ] me and my sister would just run down the stairs, and -- but we were happy to see that the insulation was still there. [ laughter ] >> seth: we've got to start doing that. is there -- because it's danish and belgian, does it have a name? is it a name? >> fred: yeah, teesletof. [ laughter ] >> seth: teesletof. that's great, thank you so much fred. give it up one more time for fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we got a great show for you tonight.
from the fox news channel and the author of "killing patton" bill o'reilly is here. [ cheers and applause ] can't wait to talk to bill. also stopping by from the great new movie "big eyes," krysten ritter is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and i promise, you are going to love this. we'll have music from jungle this evening so -- [ cheers and applause ] they're a great band. we're gonna have a great time listening to them. and -- i'm sure all of you know the holiday season is a big deal here. and at 30 rock, one huge part of that is the 30 rock christmas tree. and you probably saw it on your way in today. but this year we have an 85 foot norway blue spruce from bloomsburg, pennsylvania, which is decorated with over 10,000 l.e.d. lights that will delight and amuse thousands of people. but not everyone is happy. here to prove that, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the "late night" tree. [ cheers and applause ]
thank you. thank you so much for coming out. >> yeah, no problem. [ light laughter ] >> seth: just so everyone here knows, you are an actual tree. >> yeah. i'm a douglas fir. >> seth: now, does anyone ever call you doug? >> no, that's actually a derogatory term for my people. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm sorry. >> that's okay, skin trunk. that's a derogatory -- the derogatory term we use for humans. >> seth: okay got you. now um -- i have to ask, where are your lights and ornaments? >> oh, i refuse to wear your demeaning clothing and assimilate to your society. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. okay. >> yeah. >> seth: well, this is very exciting. you actually -- you went down to rockefeller plaza and you talked to some people today. >> yeah, i did. it was interesting. >> seth: well, let's take a look. ♪ >> we're here at 30 rockefeller center where everybody's taking
pictures of this big tree. or as i see it, the huge dead corpse that's in the middle of a plaza. ♪ you guys enjoying the tree? >> yeah. >> do you know that's my grandfather? [ laughter ] what do you want for christmas? >> an american girl doll. >> american doll, you know what i want? >> what? >> i want this tree put back in the ground. >> oh. >> do you guys realize that this tree here in 30 rockefeller, is a 80 foot 90-year-old tree? that that is like taking kareem abdul jabbar, cutting his feet off and dragging him in the woods? do you have a tree in your home? >> yes we do. >> do you know it -- what your tree would it say if it had a face? >> oh what would it say? [ screams ] [ laughter ] you're nasty, aren't you. you and your friends want to have some fun? all you guys? do you sing christmas carols? >> yeah. >> trees have christmas carols. do you want to hear one? >> i'd love to hear one.
>> sure. ♪ here comes the man to cut my feet off and ♪ drag me to a truck and drive me to a parking lot ♪ >> my baby! my baby! no! [ screams ] [ applause ] >> thank you. thank you. you're a hero. thanks, man. thanks. thanks for getting an artificial tree. let my treeple go! let them go! come on. come on, we're going! come on! you are all my children now. freedom! freedom! freedom! freedom! freedom! freedom! get this man on a bike! do you like christmas decorations? >> christmas decorations, very, very nice. >> would you like it if i decorated you? >> yes. ♪ going to take you to the woods ♪ ♪ fa la la la la la la ♪ ♪ human christmas tree
♪ fa la la la la la la ♪ ♪ retrobution for the murders ♪ ♪ fa la la la la la la la ♪ [ laughter and applause ] ♪ now it is time for retribution ♪ ♪ now it's time to make christmas to you ♪ >> we make christmas to you. >> thank you, bye! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: give it up for the "late night" tree! we'll be back with more late night right after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ get ready for some german engineered holiday excitement.
at the volkswagen sign-then-drive event. right now, for practically just your signature, you could drive home for the holidays in a new volkswagen. like the sporty, advanced new jetta and the precisely engineered passat tdi. ah, the gift of clean diesel. for the new volkswagen on your list this year, just about all you need, is a pen. festive, isn't it? get zero due at signing, zero down, zero deposit, and zero first month's payment on select new volkswagen models.
have a cuervo. have a sensitive side. just don't have any regrets. cuervo. have a story. - whatd'ya get? - whatd'ya get? oh, whatd'ya get, dude? whatd'ya get? what did you get? i'm stuck - what'd he get private? - what'd he get? woo hoo! whatd'ya get? what is it? what is it? what is it? oh c'mon mate, open it already! i can't wait! oooooooooh! dude.
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back to the show, everybody! you know, it seems like it's the time of year when you can't help but -- i am sorry. i could be wrong here, but does anyone else smell something weird? it smells like it might be a big ol' fire which, you know, could only mean one thing. it's time for "ya burnt!" [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome to the burn zone, everybody. we got a lot of topics to sizzle through, not a lot of time. over here is the burner. let's load on the gas and load her up.
[ laughter ] first up, secret santas. want to know the secret? you're the worst. [ laughter ] nothing fills a person with a christmas spirit quite like whispering to your cubicle neighbor, "hey. who's gary? [ laughter ] i have to get something for gary. oh, my god! you're gary?" and the only thing i like less than giving a gift to a stranger is getting a gift from a stranger. my family doesn't even know what to get me. what chance does kathleen in accounting have? "oh, hand lotion -- because i have hands. how did you know, kathleen?" [ laughter and applause ] hey, secret santas, just like the scented candle i never wanted, ya burnt. rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. hey, rudolph, is your nose really that useful? oh, no! we're trapped in a snowstorm. don't worry, i've got a old laser pointer on the end of my face. [ laughter ] your nose isn't a high beam, it's a cat toy. [ laughter ] also, the other reindeers are calling you names.
their names are dancer and prancer. you know what reindeer games you suck at? comebacks. [ laughter ] we all know you're santa's favorite, but that red nose of yours is starting to look a little brown from being so far up his ass. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] hey rudolph, i hope venison tastes good well done, because ya burnt. santa time. what's the matter, alcoholics? you couldn't make do with just new years', the super bowl, mardi gras, st. patrick's day, cinco de mayo, the fourth of july and halloween? [ laughter ] you had to ruin christmas, too? [ cheers and applause ] no one -- no one wants to see what santa looks like after a three-day bender. good news, kids, santa's real. bad news, he's being on the side of a duane reade. [ laughter ] i never saw mommy kissing santa claus, but i did see santa open mouth kiss a police horse. [ laughter ] now, go ho-ho-hose the puke off your boots. because ya burnt. [ cheers and applause ]
hey, eggnog, how did you come to exist? was someone eating an omelet and thought, "eggs are great, but i would like them better in a cold drink." [ laughter ] also, if i'm drinkin' at a party with extended family, i don't want to cut my booze with pancake batter. i need vodka in a water glass, no ice. hey, eggnog, you ain't hard boiled, ya hard burnt. [ cheers and applause ] midnight mass. not falling asleep fast enough at regular church? try the midnight version. [ laughter and applause ] midnight mass is great if your idea of last call is getting a tiny sip of wine out of a cup that a hundred other strangers' mouths touched first. also, why are you making me stay up so late? i gotta get up early and open my presents! [ laughter ] midnight mass -- that's latin for ya burnt. [ cheers and applause ] the grinch. you're a mean one, mr. grinch. your heart's an empty hole. your brain is full of spiders. you've got garlic in your soul. mr. grinch, i wouldn't touch you with a 39 1/2 foot pole.
also, you're a [ bleep ] ass [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] you're a burnt one, mr. grinch. hey, hanukkah, when are you? [ cheers and applause ] just because the jews had to wander in the desert doesn't mean you have to wander all over the calendar. and do you start with an h or ch because if you want the c, that's fine, but just get ready for a face full of phlegm from every non-jew who wants to wish you a chappy chanukkah. hanukkah, for eight whole nights, ya burnt. kwanzaa. so -- [ laughter ] i feel like i probably shouldn't touch this so, i guess kwanzaa, you're this week's unburnable. >> no, no, no, you are not, kwanzaa! [ cheers and applause ] you -- you are not getting off that easy, kwanzaa. hey. hey, seth. kwanzaa, you are a made-up
holiday. you're the black festivus. [ laughter ] you can't borrow your jewish friend's menorah, put on a dashiki and call it black christmas. black people already have a christmas! it's called christmas! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] kwanzaa, like kente cloth too close to the candle, ya burnt. [ cheers and applause ] merry christmas, everybody! happy kwanzaa! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: thank you, amber. "it's a wonderful life!" hey, kids, let's all gather around and watch a guy decide whether or not to kill himself. [ laughter ] but wait. wait! it's not just about suicide. it's also about the inner workings of a savings and loan. [ laughter ] not sold yet? then maybe i forgot to tell you it's four hours long and in black and white. it'd be an hour shorter but the main character can't stop stuttering. the whole first act is just jimmy stewart trying to say "merry." ma, ma, ma, ma, ma.
[ laughter ] you know what they say, every time a bell rings, ya burnt. [ cheers and applause ] up next, tiny tim. tiny tim! [ buzzer ] oh! that buzzer means we've run out of time. looks like the little bastard just caught another lucky break. [ laughter ] this has been "ya burnt!" sit tight! we'll be right back with bill o'reilly! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what would you give someone
girl: mom says you give fancy gifts because you don't have a boyfriend. julia: i don't have a boyfriend. i have lots of boyfriends. ask around. presenting estaban! girl: he's allergic to hay. julia: then don't eat the hay. jenny: ok why don't you guys look under the tree, there's one more present for everyone. julia: wait what's happening? but what about... kids: wow. thanks, mom! julia: do you always have to one up me? where did you get this stuff? jenny: old navy. they are having a sale right now with gifts for 2,4,6, and 8 dollars. julia: i gotta go. gotta go! hang on estaban, we're going shopping.
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back, everyone. our first guest tonight is the host of "the o'reilly factor" which airs weekly nights on the fox news channel. he's also the author of the new bestselling book, "killing patton," in stores now. please welcome, welcome bill o'reilly. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> seth: how are you? >> good. >> seth: lovely to see you. thank you so much for being here. >> what time is it? like 4:00 in the morning? where am i? >> seth: yeah, it's about 4:00 in the morning. we air very late. we air very late. >> i'm a late night guy. >> seth: you are a late night guy? this is your fourth killing book. >> yes. >> seth: "killing lincoln" -- >> mm-hmm. >> seth: "killing kennedy," "killing jesus," and now "killing patton." >> right. >> seth: and you claim the same guy killed all four of them? >> yeah. >> seth: wow, that's amazing. >> yeah. [ laughter ] time travel. >> seth: yeah, time traveler. but wh -- why is this, this killing series? >> i am a former high school history teacher. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> and i always tried to make it interesting for the urchins in my class, you know? >> seth: yeah. >> it wasn't always easy. >> seth: right. >> and then, you know, i decided i had a bunch of contemporary nonfiction best sellers. but i kind of ran out of things to say, you know? you can only bloviate so much. so i said, "you know, i'm going to give this history thing a try." so what i did was i combined, along with martin dugard, my co-author, a history with a thriller aspect. even though it's all true, it's
nonfiction. we moved it along like a novel, and created a book that you don't have to like history to read. it's really a fun, exciting read. and they've done very, very well. >> seth: and so patton died in a car crash from complications in a car crash. you think there might be more to the story? >> well, it's the strangest car crash you've ever seen and we lay out the audience -- we lay out the evidence for the reader. i've never seen anything like it. a big truck comes out of nowhere on a clear day and there's a general and his friend driving down one side, it smashes in. no reason for them to hit it. and we knew stalin wanted patton dead. there had been two prior assassination attempts on patton because patton wanted to fight the russians. and after they -- the allies defeated the nazis, patton said to truman and fdr, "hey. these are your enemies. these guys aren't gonna pull back." and pat was absolutely right! so stalin wanted him out of the way and that's what we believe might have happened. the evidence is pretty compelling.
>> seth: and stalin was driving the truck? >> stalin was in the back seat. [ laughter ] >> seth: the back seat? >> yeah. >> seth: he was in the back seat? >> yeah, he was in the back seat. >> seth: yeah, i got it. you actually have a great -- you have a great story about stalin. you have a story about stalin and christmas which is -- i did not know. >> what we try to do in this book is, it's not just about general patton, it's about world war ii the last five months which is the most brutal time in the history of the world. people were just dying and brutality and everything. stalin was a monster. and he was in moscow, a total dictator, just like hitler, same deal. kills anybody he wants. death camps, all of this. and the communists rejected christmas. but stalin loved one person in the world, only one, his daughter. and his daughter was invited to a christmas party at the british embassy in moscow. all right? and went and had the best time. and came back and said, "oh, papa, christmas. how come we don't have christmas?" so stalin invented the communist christmas. and he took all the symbols, like he had the tree man -- they had the red star man
running around. they had songs and they had trees -- >> seth: what was the -- there was a baby new year called -- what was -- >> they had a baby new year. and it was all based upon -- there is no god in the communist philosophy. it was all based upon frost. that was the theme. >> seth: oh. >> because there's a lot of frost in russia. >> seth: yeah, that's true. >> there's frost everywhere. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> all right. so they named all of these things. and then all the people weren't buying it, because they were all russian orthodox christians. but if they didn't, they got shot. >> seth: right. >> it was like -- 'tis the season, line up against the wall, you better do this. and that's exactly what happened. so he invented this whole holiday on january 1st that the russians celebrate. >> seth: unbelievable. >> it is! incredible. >> seth: you -- obviously this is in the past. you also talk about the future on your show with 2016 coming up, that election. you did a piece on elizabeth warren last night. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: she's someone who's been on this show. >> she won't come on my show. >> seth: she won't come on your show. >> no. she must like you. >> seth: well -- >> doesn't like me. >> seth: interesting.
well, i -- hopefully she won't see the piece. if she was on the fence. but it's interesting because i have this -- i would love to get your take on this. >> sure. >> seth: you sort of talk about working class folks on your show. and she's someone that, whatever you think about her, i believe she cares about working class people. >> oh, i don't think there's any question that she's a sincere woman. >> seth: yeah but, you know, i don't see why there's not that agreement across party lines. why don't both, you know, people on the left and people on the right have credit cards to be more honest with you about what the terms of a credit card is? >> you know, i sympathize with the senator from massachusetts in the sense that there should be government oversight. and that there should be rules for the pinheads on wall street and big bankers to obey, of course. 'cause they're going to hose you if they don't have rules. everybody knows that. >> seth: yeah. >> but what does it take to convince americans that the government cannot run the economy? what do you need? you have a $20 trillion debt now. these idiots in washington can barely go to the men's or women's room. they can barely find their way to the capitol. >> seth: i think you put a rope
so they follow it. [ laughter ] >> you know, and i hate to disparage it. but you mentioned earlier -- [ laughter and applause ] --that the approval rating is like 7%. >> seth: yeah. >> all right? do you want them in charge of the economy? no. have rules and regulations. have agencies that enforce them. but capitalism is what this country was built on, and elizabeth warren would like to change that. so i disagree. >> seth: but i think if she wants to change it with just better rules and regulations. >> that's okay. >> seth: that's okay. >> but, you know, i don't want elizabeth warren taking 70% of my money. i work hard for it. and that's what she would do. and your money, too, meyers. your money, too. [ laughter ] >> seth: let me tell you something, i feel safer -- i don't trust me with it. [ laughter ] i don't trust me with it. i'd like her to hold it for me until i need it. >> she's not going to hold it. it's gonna get spent. >> seth: you talked about the war on christmas. >> yeah. >> seth: you're sort of the paul revere for the war on christmas. >> we won the war on christmas. >> seth: you won, so it's official! >> we won. all right? >> seth: christmas has finally made it.
>> and this is true. this is the only -- i've been doing this for about ten years -- the only year we have not had a store that commanded its employees not to say merry christmas. it's over. we won. >> seth: congratulations. >> anybody can say merry christmas if they want to. they don't have to. [ cheers and applause ] i'm not like stalin. >> seth: yeah. >> but i'm very happy. >> seth: congratulations. but you've got to be careful now. >> why? >> seth: because patton won, too. and then the car thing happened. >> and got killed. right. that could be -- that's true. i might have just fulfilled my obligation on earth -- >> seth: right. >> --and this will be my last appearance anywhere. >> seth: just keep your head on a swivel. congratulations on winning the war on christmas and thank you for being here. >> all right, seth. >> seth: "killing patton" in stores now. "the o'reilly factor" airs week nights on fox news. we'll be right back with krysten ritter. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
so you can see like right here i can just... you know, check my policy here, add a car, ah speak to customer service, check on a claim...you know, all with the ah, tap of my geico app. oh, that's so cool. well, i would disagree with you but, ah, that would make me a liar. no dude, you're on the jumbotron! whoa. ah...yeah, pretty much walked into that one. geico anywhere anytime. just a tap away on the geico app.
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everyone. you know our next guest form such shows as "breaking bad," "don't trust the b in apartment 23" and "veronica mars." she can be seen next in the upcoming tim burton film "big eyes" opening on christmas day. please welcome the lovely krysten ritter. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
>> seth: thank you for being here. >> thanks for having me. >> seth: it was your -- i owe you a happy birthday. it was your birthday yesterday? >> yes. it was my birthday yesterday but i'm going to extend it. since i'm working. >> seth: yeah. >> so -- >> seth: right. >> --i'm going to celebrate my birthday for, like another week, at least. >> seth: you're gonna take a full week. that's good. 'cause you only got a seventh of a birthday. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i got a seventh of a birthday. >> seth: what did you do yesterday? did you manage to get anything in? >> yes. well, it was my day to sleep in so i slept in until 7:30. >> seth: oh, well, well done. >> and then i went for a swim. >> seth: great. >> so i'm staying in the hotel and they have a pool. >> seth: good. yeah, i wasn't thinking like, to the river. [ laughter ] >> just went for dip. but i'm one of those people, if i'm in a hotel with a pool, i'm down there first day with the other 13-year-olds. >> seth: laps or just splash? >> both! >> seth: you just splash and then did some laps? >> i swim around and then i'll do cannonballs. >> seth: right. great. >> and then i went to brooklyn.
>> seth: okay, great. [ cheers ] >> to walk around my old hood. which is different now. >> seth: how long is the gap between when you were there? >> i moved -- in 2008. >> seth: okay, so that's not a lot of time for a neighborhood to change but that's brooklyn i guess, right? >> it's annoying to walk around with me, because every block, i'm like, "well, when i lived here, that was not there." it's like everything is changed. >> seth: right. that's a very unpopular tour called "krysten ritter tells you what's changed." >> it's really annoying. [ laughter ] and then, i did pottery. >> seth: oh, wow. where'd you get the pottery? >> this place in williamsburg on grant street. and i dragged some of my friends. and it was the most fun ever. >> seth: did you make something that you will keep? >> yeah. >> seth: what did you make? >> i have to go pick it, pick it up in two weeks. >> seth: got cha. >> i made -- >> seth: 'cause they had to fire it in the kiln? >> they had to fire it in a kiln. [ laughter ] i made a like, a mud vase coin holder ashtray. >> seth: oh, my goodness. that's great! [ laughter ] that seems like something that will be a new product in 2018. >> yeah. >> seth: that --
i have a dog, i talk about my dog all the time on the show. i do not bring my dog to set, though, but you actually have brought to the set here, which is mikey. >> i have. and mikey -- >> seth: we have a photo. >> oh, cutie mikey! >> seth: it's a really -- cute photo. [ audience awws ] >> mikey is in for a bit of a rude awakening. 'cause there he is in sunny california. >> seth: right and it's so nice that you bought a couch to match mikey. >> yeah. well -- [ laughter ] --it works out well. you know, he tricked me. when i first got him, he didn't shed. >> seth: okay. >> for like, the first two weeks. i'm like, "this is great. he doesn't shed." he sheds so bad. and i am always wearing black and i'm covered in blond hair. but he's worth it. >> seth: people do that in relationships all the time. where it's all the sudden two weeks in -- >> you're like -- >> seth: you say, "hey, when'd you stop flossing?" [ laughter ] >> true colors. >> seth: they're like, "oh, that was -- that was kind of a thing i was doing for the first two weeks. >> right. right. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: so, what's his rude awakening? >> well, we're moving -- >> seth: oh, so he's gonna come here? >> we're moving to new york. yeah. and it's cold. >> seth: yeah. >> and, you know. >> seth: yeah, he's a southern california dog. he has room for both of his guitars.
[ laughter and applause ] >> he goes outside. he goes in the backyard if he has to pee. >> seth: yeah. >> now i'm going to have to like, you know, go up and down an elevator. and -- hopefully i have an elevator. >> seth: you need that. we house trained our dog. >> what do you do? yeah. mine is house trained, too. but new york is just -- he's going to have to wear a puppy coat. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] it's really -- putting a -- well i have to put my dog in a sweater, and every time i do it, 'cause she puts her little paws here, and she's just staring while i'm doing it. and i'm just looking at her saying, "no, i never saw this happening in my life either. this is not --" [ laughter ] >> oh! >> seth: "this is not the outcome i saw happening at all." >> wait, what is your dog's name? >> seth: frisbee. >> and it's a girl? >> seth: yeah, it's a girl, yeah. >> does she do tricks? >> seth: no. >> okay. [ laughter ] but she's house broken? >> seth: she jumps into the tub to go to the bathroom which is literally the greatest trick. >> wait a minute. what? >> seth: yeah, we lay -- we put a pad in the tub. and she just, like, hops in. >> what do you do if you want to take a bath? >> seth: oh, we don't take baths. [ laughter ] oh! no. that's -- because that's the dog's toilet. >> got it. [ laughter ] wow.
that's pretty -- that's pretty impressive. >> seth: yeah. we have a beautiful claw-footed dog's toilet. [ laughter ] >> oh, my god! >> seth: it's great. yeah, it's a beautiful -- >> but that's nice because then you don't have to, like, wake up in the middle of the night if the dog has to go out. >> seth: absolutely, no. i mean, i wake up in the middle of the night because she sleeps in bed with us -- >> she does. >> seth: so i'm like, "hey, how are you? i love you." [ laughter ] >> yeah. mikey sleeps in my bed with me, too. and has to be touching me. >> seth: oh, that's really cute. >> yeah. but i don't -- yeah. i was going to say someth -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: so, he lately, he's been doing so weird stuff. >> yeah. right. >> seth: i'm also so excited that you're doing this new netflix series where you play jessica jones -- >> yeah. >> seth: --which is so exciting and i will tell you, as a comic book nerd -- i don't know what your level of comic book nerdom is -- it's such a kickass character. >> it is such -- yes, it is. i'm not allowed to talk about any details but -- >> seth: great. >> --i'm so excited about it and the character's fantastic. >> seth: well, if you want to talk about it -- >> i'm scared. >> seth: --i will just ask -- [ laughter ] -- and you can write down the answers for me. >> okay. >> seth: congrats on the movie "big eyes." it's really great. and you got to work with tim burton which i have to
imagine is just a dream come true. >> yeah. i mean, i always wished to work with him and i grew up loving his movies because he always, you know, his protagonists were weirdos and oddballs and left of center people and i felt like i fit in that world. so getting to work with him is a dream come true. >> seth: and it's a great true story about -- is it walter keene is the artist. >> margaret keene is the artist. >> seth: margaret keene -- of course. margaret keene is the -- >> walter keene is taking credit for her work, and convinces her to go along with this fraud because nobody will buy lady art. >> seth: it is -- >> and it was only 50 years ago. >> seth: and you sort of play a composite of -- you're not based on a real -- or you're based on a multiple real character? real people. >> margaret keene had one friend and her husband walter drove her off. so, that's the nonfiction part. but then the writers used my character to sort of get everybody up to speed on the cool happenings in san francisco. so, i'm like a modern flair in the movie. >> seth: yeah. it's a great, i mean, it's a great education, both on this story i didn't know and sort of that san francisco art scene. >> yeah. >> seth: a really exciting time. >> i love nonfiction.
i like bio-pics. i like documentaries. and this movie's a true story. >> seth: i do too. i will say there's that risk of -- have you ever done this? when you're at home watching a bio-pic and you're -- you get -- 'cause this movie is really exciting and thrilling -- 'cause it's like a mystery to some degree, and you're watching it and you also know you could just open up your computer and check wikipedia. >> oh, right! >> seth: and jump to the ending as far -- >> well, i didn't see it at home. i saw it in the theater, which, which everybody also should do. >> seth: right. you should, yeah, definitely see it in the theater. and don't check wikipedia during the movie, 'cause then everybody sees the glow of your, your smart device. [ laughter ] >> right, right. >> seth: and then you go, "oh! i know how it ends!" don't do that. [ laughter ] >> no bueno. >> seth: i think we can both agree on that. >> we can both agree on that. >> seth: krysten ritter, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] check out this trailer to "big eyes." ♪ >> what's with the big crazy eyes? >> eyes are the window to the soul. ♪ >> you have an amazing talent. you undervalue yourself. >> people don't take women's art seriously. ♪ >> who is the artist? >> i am. ♪ >> the painting says keene. i am keene.
you're keene. >> smile. >> we're sold out! >> this could be something so big. ♪ >> strange. walter doesn't really strike me as a cute hungry kitten type. [ cameras flashing ] >> just think of the fun we'll have. >> this is moving really fast. >> hey, pal. joe crawford has a dinner reservation. >> he sells pictures of the paintings and he sells postcards of pictures of the paintings. >> $17 million. the art world is abuzz. >> it's happening. >> "big eyes" is now nominated for three golden globes. best actor, christoph waltz. best actress, amy adams. and best song. >> good god, it's a movement. >> no one will ever know anything. >> damn right, you are. >> "big eyes." rated pg-13. christmas day. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: krysten ritter, everybody! check out "big eyes" in theaters christmas day! we'll be right back with music from jungle! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [vet] two yearly physicals down.
martha and mildred are good to go. here's your invoice, ladies. a few stops later, and it looks like big ollie is on the mend. it might not seem that glamorous having an old pickup truck for an office... or filling your days looking down the south end of a heifer, but...i wouldn't have it any other way. look at that, i had my best month ever. and earned a shiny new office upgrade. i run on quickbooks. that's how i own it. motor trend's 2015olf car of the year. so was the 100% electric e-golf, and the 45 highway mpg tdi clean diesel. and last but not least,
the high performance gti. looks like we're gonna need a bigger podium. the volkswagen golf family. motor trend's 2015 "cars" of the year. celebrate what's new, the bigger, better menu at red lobster! with more of what you love! try our newest wood-grilled combination! maine lobster, extra jumbo shrimp, and salmon! so hurry in! and sea food differently.
it's time to busy earnin you can't get enough ♪ ♪ this busy earnin you can't get enough ♪ ♪ you think that all your time is used to busy earnin you can't get enough ♪ ♪ and i get always but i bet it won't change no ♪ ♪ damn that's a boring life it's quite busy earnin you can't get enough ♪ ♪ this busy earnin you can't get enough ♪ ♪ you think that all your time is used
♪ just busy earnin you can't get enough no just busy earnin you can't get enough ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: jungle! their self-titled debut album is available every now! head over to latenightseth.com for bonus performances, their next single, "julian." we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] >> the "late night" music experience is brought to you by t-mobile. t-mobile is setting music free. stream all the music you want. data charges do not apply. want more "late night" music? watch premiere performances at latenightseth.com.
♪ >> carson: hey, everybody. what's happening? welcome to "last call." i'm carson daly. and tonight, we're coming to you from 97.1 amp radio where i host a little morning show. here's tonight's line up -- mexican rockers, rey pila perform from the fox theater pomona. "a most violent year" filmmaker, j.c. chandor gets spotlight. but first, lorenzo richelmy is an italian actor who stars as the title character in the highly anticipated netflix epic, "marco polo." here he is now on "last call." ♪ >> so, marco polo is really altruistic in a way. he believes so deeply in something that is not faith and is not god.